Tachikomatic fun!
by Bloo-96
Summary: NEW CHAPTER! chapter 11,Fun With Space Invaders! featuring Nabeshin From Excel Saga check it out!
1. tachikomatic fun

**Tachikomatic Fun! By Bloo96 **

**This story was inspired by the short "Tachikomatic Days" I do not own any of the ghost in the shell characters, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda! You know the drill. **

**I**t is morning and all over section nine it is quiet, until...,

"Comrades! I have good news!" shouts a tachikoma standing on a box

"What is it now?" asked a tachikoma

"You're getting decommissioned! That is good news, now we can get some peace and quiet for a change," said another

A group forms around the box

"No, I'm not getting decommissioned," said the tachikoma on the box

"Well then what is the good news?" asked a tachikoma

"Well, I was spying on the major and,…"

"You what!" interupted a tachikoma

"Oh no, not again" said another

"What's wrong with spying on the major?" asked the one on the box

"You idiot, that might be one of the reasons we were sent back to the lab" explained a tachikoma

A tachikoma is banging its head against a wall

"Why,. Do,. We,. Always,. Pay,. For,. That,. Morons,. Mistakes!"

The other tachikomas watch as a hole begins to appear in the wall

"Great, now we have to explain why there is a hole in the wall" said one of them

"You guys are just paranoid, the major wouldn't send us back to the lab, not after we have proven our selves useful"

"Proven our selves useful! We all died! How did we prove our usefulness" asked a tachikoma

"We're useful" said the one on the box

"Yeah, as shields" said a tachikoma

"Not to mention decoys" said another

"Or the ones that have to do all the dirty work" another one explained

"Wow talk about low self esteem" said one of them

"Look guys I just wanted to tell you some good news"

"What is good news when we might get sent back to the lab again" said a tachikoma

"Yeah and if we do get sent back to the lab I'll make sure that you pay with a Trojan virus" said another

"Trojan Virus? What's that?" asked the tachikoma on the box

"Oh nothing, it's just the most feared virus that you can get infected with" said a tachikoma

"First you get a ton of random errors, then you go blind and then you get so corrupted to the point that your walking backwards when you want to move foreword and,.. Backwards when you want to go backwards" explained another

"Yeah and when you try to shoot, your gun jams up and explodes" said another tachikoma

"Boom!" shouted one of them

"yeah and then finally you get a fatal error and your system shuts down, next thing you know your being melted down to build a Toyota Pickup truck, or even worse" said a tachikoma

"What's worse than that!" asked the tachikoma on the box

"Microsoft buys you, rips you apart to build apple computers!" said one of them

"Ha! Now I know that you are making it all up besides if it is true, you can never get access to that type of virus" said the one on the box

"Oh yeah" said one of them

It holds up a disk in its claw

"Then what do you call this" it said

"You wouldn't" said the one on the box

"Try me" replied the one with the disk

The tachikoma on the box looks around for a quick exit

"Oh gee, look at the time, I have to go,. Because,. Because, I'm late for target practice, yeah that's it target practice, see you guys later!" it said

The tachikoma jumps off the box and runs down the hall

"There's nothing on that disk is there" said a tachikoma

"Nope, just Batou's music, besides we can't even get infected with a Trojan, it's only a computer email virus, but at least we finally now have some peace and quiet" said the tachikoma holding the disk

"That's true" said one of them

The major walks in

"Well, I have some good news for you guys, we just got this fresh from the lab this morning," she said

A tachikoma walks in

"I want you guys to make it feel like its home," she said as she left

The tachikoma stands in front of the group, it looks around and notices the box, and it jumps on top of it and says

"Greetings comrades! I am Tachikoma unit number nine!"

"Oh god not another one!"

Said a tachikoma collapsing to the ground.

**The End! **

**_Yes that's right, I really have that type of time to think of and type this story _ **

**_"I HAVE NO LIFE!"_ **

**_Remember, I am an obsessed fan who happens to own a few too many DVD's _ **

**_I'm sure to write more Tachikomatic fun stories because "I HAVE NO LIFE!"_ **

**_Oh yeah before I forget I am thinking of writing a crossover of ghost in the shell and Hellsing I'm not sure how I'm going to make it work, but I'll worry about that at a latter date._ **

**_Till then Cya!_ **

**_Bloo96_ **

**((RESET THE WORLD!))** **>:P **


	2. more tachikomatic fun

**Note I do not own any of the ghost in the shell characters! But I do have rights to my own stories and their plots,**

**So please don't be copying with out giving me credit, or asking! **

**ILPALAZZO IS WATCHING YOU!**

**More Tachikomatic fun!**

**By Bloo-96**

It's Afternoon, four tachikomas are gathered around a television in the lobby.

"What is this show?" asked one of them

"Robot wars" answered one of them

"Robot what?"

"Robot wars; it's a show about people controlling robots to fight each other for money or something like that" explained one of them

"Humm"

It studies the TV for a while

"Hey, Why don't we enter that competition, we're considered robots" it said

"What!" said the other three

"We should enter that competition, I bet you that we would beat every little excuse of a fighting machine that challenges us!" it said

"You're kidding right?" asked one of them

"Are you sure you had a diagnostics lately, or a virus scan or something?" asked another one

"We can't enter that type of competition, it would be unfair" explained another

"Oh come on, it would be fun! We could get some money for it"

"What use do we have for money?" asked one of them

"Yeah really" said another

"Ahhhhh,… well,… that's not important, but we would still have some fun, not to mention some publicity and respect for a change"

"Isn't it a bit too dangerous" asked one of them

"What are you talking about, we're tanks! We're always in dangerous situations, besides look at those things, they're tinny, I could probably step on one of them without even thinking; and they don't even have any weapons"

"Yeah except buzz saws and hammers, not to mention flame throwers, Flame Throwers!"

"So what, a couple of rounds with my chain gun and possibly a grenade or two for the fun of it would do the trick!"

One of the tachikomas starts laughing

"What's so funny?"

"I love how you act so tough and invincible, tell me, who was the one completely torn to shreds by a run away tank"

"Well, me, so it got lucky"

"Sure it did" said one of them

"Right, and who was also turned into Swiss cheese by a helicopter"

"Me Again,.. But it was an anti-tank helicopter; it sort of had the advantage"

"Wow and I thought seven was suppose to be a lucky number"

"I rest my case"

"Ok fine, then you go and enter the competition"

"I don't think so! It may be not as bad as yours, but I to have an unfortunate history too"

"fine then, what about you?"

"Look, we can't even enter! So stop wasting your time, or at least my time," said a tachikoma as it picks up a magazine

"Why cant we enter, come on, explain it to me"

"I already told you, it's unfair!" it answered

"How"

"Have you ever notice that none of them are bigger than a shoe box and that they posses no long rang capability!"it said

"So that doesn't mean anything"

"Ok, how about the fact that none of them are running on their own, they're all being controlled by a remote, we all are AI Driven!" said the frustrated tachikoma

"Yeah that's right, since the robots on the show are controlled by a remote they have no idea of what's happening and since we are all have an AI that makes us all self aware, we would have too big of an advantage" explained on of them

"So, we could fake it"

"Oh yeah and who is going to be our so called controller, the major?"

"The major!.. No I was thinking more like Batou"

"Batou wouldn't help us fix a competition, even if he wanted the money,.."

"Wait, wait I have an idea" interrupted one of them

"What's that?"

"Well,.. If we can some how hack into one of the ghost less androids around here,.."

"Who do you think we are,. The laughing man! We can't hack into one of those androids even if we wanted to" interrupted the one with the magazine

"Well,. I have over heard one of the mechanics complaining about not being paid enough, maybe he will help us"

"Yeah, and we have remotes stored around here somewhere"

"I still can't believe you guys want to fix a robot wars competition; I'm now starting to understand why the major doesn't like us chattering"

"Oh come on, it would be fun" explained one of them

"You also said sticking magnets to your hull was fun too, I still getting glitches to this day thanks to that, and that was before we were sent back to the lab!" Said the one with the magazine

"You believed me"

"Ok, we have a controller, but who's going to be the lucky tachikoma in the ring?"

They all look at the unit holding the magazine

"Oh no, don't look at me" it said

"Well, I can't do it because,… Batou needs me for stuff" said one of them

"I can't do it," said another

"Why not?"

"Just because" answered the tachikoma

"Good excuse"

"Hey, what about that new unit that came in today?" asked one of them

"What, the one that thinks its unit nine! It wouldn't stand a chance, I not even sure if it even fired any of its weapons yet!" Said one of them

"Hmm, we have to find somebody, anybody would do!" Said one of them

A tachikoma walks towards the group

"Hey TV, what are you guys watching?" it said

The group turns around and stares at the unit

"Jackpot"

"We have a winner"

"Perfect"

"You guys are idiots"

The tachikoma looks around and asks

"What are you guys looking at?"

"I'll get my cable ready!"

**The End!**

**_Yay! It's my second tachi fic! _**

**_Thanks to your reviews and support I decided to jump on this one ASAP!_**

**_It took some time the think of a plot and I think, THINK! I found a winner!_**

**_I hope you all enjoyed it! _**

**_More Tachikomatic fun is sure to come! _**

**_Bloo-96_**

**_(((RESET THE WORLD!)))_**


	3. Down with the sickness

_note!I do not own any of the ghost in the shell characters, but I do own the story so, blah blah blah, your probably not reading this note anywayso why doI bother!_

**Tachikomatic fun!**

"**Down with the sickness" **

"Fellow tachikomas! it's that time of year again!" shouted a tachikoma standing on a box.

"Winter?" asked a tachikoma.

"Yes its winter, but that's not the season I was talking about."

A group forms around the box.

"what is it then?" asked one of them.

"Comrades! The time of year has come again, and we have to prepare ourselves more than ever before!" announced the one on the box.

"What are you talking about?" asked one of them.

"Yeah really?" asked another.

"Virus season!" it answered.

"VIRUS SEASON!" the group said in shock.

"That's right brethren! Virus season! And this year is suppose to be ten times worse than last year! were talking pro hackers here!"

"What should we do?" asked a concerned tachikoma.

a couple of the tachikomas begin the panic.

"Calm down! Mr. Batou is looking for a way to ready us for any virus known to machine, but it's going to take him and his colleges awhile, so it is very important for us to stay in good condition, and try not to get infected with anything until its ready!" said the tachikoma on the box.

"That shouldn't be a problem" said one of them.

"Yeah" said another.

"So far non-of us are sowing any symptoms, so we should be able to make it,.." said the one on the box.

A tachikoma in the back of the group sneezes blowing the cap off of it's granade launcher; the group stops their conversation and turn around.

"What?" asked the one that sneezed.

The group begins to back off.

"What are you guys doing?" it asked.

"Stay away!" said one of them in the group.

"What, why?" it asked.

"Because you're infected" said the one of the others.

"I'm infected! You guys should talk, you're all turning different colors!" it said.

"Oh no, it's worse than I thought!" said the one standing on the box.

Suddenly another tachikoma sneezes, shortly after another sneezes, one by one the tachikomas are infected.

"Oh no! This is spreading faster than I thought!" said the tachikoma on the box.

"What should we do?" asked one of them.

"The only thing we can do" it answered.

"What's that?"

"Every tachikoma for it self!" shouted the tachikoma as it jumps off the box and makes a run for it, the remaining tachikomas fallow it.

"Hey! Wait up!" shouted one of them trying to catch up.

"Don't leave me here to get infected!" shouted another one.

Four tachikomas run out of the hanger and jump in a custodial closet.

"That was a close one!"

"Yeah no kidding, I thought for sure we were goners!"

"So we are the only ones that made it?"

"I guess so, what do you think they will do with the others?"

"Most likely their symptoms will increase to the point that they will be rendered helpless until Batou or someone comes up with a cure, but that might take days, possibly weeks, or longer!"

"Thank god we got out of there in time!"

"No kidding"

"Ah guys, I,. I,. Think I,.."

The tachikoma sneezes.

"Oh no, you're infected too!"

**THE END! (((QUARANTINED!)))**

_**Yes there you have it, my third tachi fic! And sadly, (cough, cough!) I didn't make it neither! I have the flu!**_

_**I guess that's what helped me with this fan fic! I hope you all enjoyed,.. Please send some chicken noodle soup and some tissues (Cough, cough!) Thanks!**_

_**(Sneeze!) **_

**_Bloo-96 _(((QUARANTINED!))) :P**


	4. dodge ball

Note: I stopped with the notes! Isn't like I'm going to get sued or anything!

**Tachikomatic fun! **

**"Dodge ball" By bloo-96 **

In the hanger of section nine,

"Comrades! Today I have discovered a brand new game!" announced a Tachikoma standing on a box.

"Really, what's that?" asked a Tachikoma.

"Dodge ball!" it answered as it smacks the questioning tank with a large red rubber ball.

"What's Dodge ball?" asked another curious think tank.

"It's a game where you throw balls at other players!" it answered as it whacks the Tachikoma with a dodge ball.

"Does anyone here know how to play?" it asked.

"Where the heck are you getting all those balls from?" asked one of them.

"From the gym!" it answered as it launches another ball.

"So does anyone here know how to play?" it asked again.

"Don't we need safety equipment?" asked a concerned Tachikoma.

"No, safety equipment is for wimps!"answered the one on the box as it smashes the Tachikoma with a dodge ball.

"Don't we need teams? Because it's like you're against us all right now"

"Nah! We'll have a free for all!" said the one on the box after it struck the tank with a ball.

"Why do you keep hitting everyone one that's asking a question with a ball,.. Oh crap!"

Whack! A dodge ball slams into the Tachikoma.

"Because you're all not answering my question! Now who here knows how the play!" shouted the one standing on the box.

"I don't think I like this game" said one of the Tachikomas.

"Wrong answer!" It shouted as it smacked the Tachikoma with a dodge ball.

"Anyone else" it asked while it was tossing a ball in the air.

"Why?"

"Wrong!" it shouted as it clobbers the Tachikoma with a ball.

"Come on! Does anyone know how to play?"

All but one Tachikoma lie on the ground, some with dodge balls imbedded in their hulls.

"So, only one left huh?" said the one on the box.

The two tachikomas stand off for a few long minutes, finally the Tachikoma on the box throws the ball, the other one jumps over it.

"What! How did you?"

"Batou taught me this game already," it said as it picked up an arm full of balls.

It starts throwing a rapid stream of balls towards the one on the box. After a few long seconds the balls stop flying, completely overwhelmed by the intense blanket of balls, the one on the box is full of dents, it staggers for a brief second and falls backwards off the box.

"I'm invincible!" shouted the other Tachikoma.

A ball falls from the ceiling, and hits the celebrating Tachikoma, knocking it out. The Tachikoma crashes to the ground.

**The End! **

Note: Bloo-96 is not feeling good and is excused from gym class,

Signed parents of bloo-96

Tachikoma holding a dodge ball: "nice try, but your excuses don't work here!"

Bloo-96: "you've got to be kidding me!"

**((WHACK!)) **

**_Well there you have it, my fourth tachi fic, and yes obviously it is based off on my own experiences in gym class! "They don't call me the sitting duck for nothing!" _**

**_(I'm not actually that bad at dodge ball) this actually happens one day in gym class, we were starting a game of dodge ball, and I was asking a ton of questions. Then came along an annoyed senior and smacks me with a dodge ball, really hard, I was knocked out for two class periods! Yeah that was fun. _: P **

**Enough with my life story! **

**_Now since I have finally recovered from the flu (and completed my late homework) I was able to jump back to typing, thanks for your reviews and support, if it wasn't for you guys I probably wouldn't be typing theses! I am so glad I could share these stories to fellow tachi fans such as yourselves, and as always I will try to come up with some more! Till then Cya!_ **

Have an idea for Tachikomatic fun? Email meat make sure you include your pen name (I can't take all the credit) and who knows, I just might use your idea for the next Tachikomatic fun! Why not have tachi stories written by more than one fan!

**_Bloo-96_ **

**("TAKE CARE COMRADES!") **


	5. nice guys finnish last

**Tachikomatic fun**

"**Nice guys finish last"**

"Comrades! I have good news!" announced a Tachikoma standing on a large white box in the middle of the hangar.

"Do you have to do this every morning?" asked one of the annoyed think tanks.

"Yeah really" said another.

"Today is different! I have really, really good news!" said the unit on the box.

"Ok, what is it now?" asked one of them.

"We have won the robot wars competition!" announced the unit as it holds up a large golden trophy"

"You what!"

"Wow, cool"

"You're telling me that you idiots actually pulled it off!" said a Tachikoma in shock.

"Yeah that's right, and I did it all by myself too" bragged the unit on the box.

"What! No you didn't! You guys tied me up, and force me to compete! You did nothing but yell at me, besides we never had the chance to compete because we were all dis,…"

Whack a dodge ball hits the Tachikoma.

"Would you like to continue lying to your friends?" asked the one on the box.

"But I'm not lying, it's the tru..."

Whack another dodge ball hits the Tachikoma

"Ok,.. I'll shut up now"

"Good"

"Hey, did you actually win that trophy?" asked a Tachikoma suspiciously.

"Of course I did, how else would I have it" explained the unit on the box.

"Humm, I guess you do have a good point there"

The major storms into the hanger.

"OK, one of you has some major explaining to do for me!" she shouted.

The Tachikoma on the box hides the trophy in its pod.

"What's the problem major?" it asked nervously

"This!" she shouted as she turned on one of the TVs hanging from the ceiling of the hanger.

TV: "Police are still investigating the theft of a trophy from a robot wars competition last night. According to the security cameras, the culprit seems to be a large blue spider-like robot, so far there are no leads; now for the weather, bob tell us about the forecast, IT GUNNA RAIN! Thank you bob for that weather statement, coming up after the break, should Dumpster diving become an Olympic event? More after this"

"Ha! I knew it! I knew you idiots wouldn't make it!" said a Tachikoma that was reading a book.

"Now which one of you stole that trophy!" demanded the major, the group turns around to find that the Tachikoma that was standing on the box has disappeared.

"Hey where did it go?"

"Look there's a note"

"Let me see"

a Tachikoma studies the note.

"Humm, it says; Fellow Tachikomas, I have decided to take my vacation time starting now, I don't know where I 'm going or when I'll be back. All that I know is that I'll be gone for a while, so don't waste your time trying to look for me, sincerely Unit one.PS what ever you do, don't go into the custodial closet, I won't be hiding in there anyway"

"Oh brother, what a moron!" said one of the Tachikomas.

"Looks like some ones going back to the lab"

One of the other Tachikomas hums "Taps" as the major storms out of the hanger.

**THE END!**

"Taps" is a song for military funerals (but you probably already knew that)

_**That's right it's my fifth one! Bust out the Dr. Pepper its party time! As you can already tell this is the sequel to my second chapter. More Tachikomatic fun is sure to come, and also (if I ever get the bugs worked out) a tachi version of Final Destination, "final destination" (wow what a perfect title for it!) coming,... eventually! **_

_**(God I hate writer's block!) **_

**Bloo-96**

**((Purge!))**


	6. the musical?

**Tachikomatic fun!**

"**The Musical?" (God I hate musicals)**

In a helicopter, unknown location, the major, Batou, and one Tachikoma, are on route to a mission.

"Major, how long is this flight going to take?" asked the Tachikoma.

"I don't know, just be patient and quit asking us" answered the major.

"But I'm sooo bored!" complained the anxious tank.

"Quit your complaining!" barked the major.

"Sheesh, what got into you today?" asked Batou.

The major didn't say anything she just stared out the window.

The Tachikoma looked around the cabin desperately to find something to fiddle around with.

"You know what, I'm starting to wonder how long this thing's going to take too, it felt like we've been flying for days" said Batou.

"Well according to the pilot we have four hours left in the flight," said the major.

"Four hours!" Both Batou and the Tachikoma said.

Silence filled the cabin; the only sound was the humming of the twin engines until finally,

"I know what could make this trip shorter, I learned a new song today, mind if I sing it?" asked the Tachikoma.

"A song? Humm, I guess so" answered Batou.

The major just stared at the Tachikoma and then looked down to the floor.

"Fine, get it over with" she said.

The Tachikoma prepared it self,

"Ok, here it goes"

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it,…"

"That's enough!" Shouted the major.

Batou tries not to laugh.

"You didn't like it major?" asked the confused think tank.

"Tachikoma take note, I forbid you to ever sing that song again, understood," said the major.

"But,."

"No buts!" interrupted the major.

Realizing that there was no way to convince the major to let it keep singing, the Tachikoma accepted defeat and said depressingly,

"yes ma'am"

"What are you talking about, that was the best singing I have ever heard, we should take it to the United States and enter it for American idle, make some real money" Joked Batou

The Tachikoma jumped in excitement.

"Do you really think so Mr. Batou?" it shouted in enjoyment.

"Don't give it ideas Batou"

"What, I was just kidding" said Batou.

"Hey! I got another song would you like to hear it" said the Tachikoma.

The major was starting to get annoyed.

"No more singing!" she shouted.

"Lighten up major, let it have some fun" Batou said.

"Go ahead," he said to the eager tank.

"Ok, here it goes," said the Tachikoma.

"This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends. Someone started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my…"

"Tachikoma!" shouted the major.

Batou breaks out laughing.

**The END!**

_**I decided to make the major a victim for once.**_

_**(Here's a prompt "if you want it" what was bothering the major "other than the Tachikoma") **_

_**Go ahead use it if you want! **_

_**My teachers hate it when I sing one of those two songs, I can't tell you how many times I was kicked out of class for singing, ironically even in Vocal. Oh well I guess every one is a critic! **_

_**It might take me a little longer to post stories because a virus took out my Internet a few years ago and I was too lazy to call the Cable Company. so I use the school computers to post, and after a year of flying under the radar they caught me! So most likelyfan ficwill be added to the districts block list. But don't worry, I might get lucky and they just look the other way on the issue orI could get off my lazy butt andcall the cable company, orI'll take my computer to the local PC lounge, whatever I'll still get them out for you guys! **_

_**As always more Tachikomatic Fun is sure to come!** _

**Bloo-96**

**(((Counter Attack!)))**


	7. The Rubiks Cube

**Tachikomatic fun!**

"**The Rubiks Cube!"**

"Fellow Tachikomas, I have discovered a new game!" announced a Tachikoma standing on a box.

"Oh god, not another one!" said a Tachikoma.

"I'll get the bandages" said another one.

"No this time it's a harmless game" explained the unit standing on the box.

"Yeah sure, you said the same thing about Table Tennis, and then you sent three of us to the repair bay!"

"Hey it isn't my fault I don't know my own strength!"

"What game did you learn?" asked a curious tank.

"Oh yeah, I found this thing" said the unit on the box, as it held up a Rubiks Cube.

"Wow,… what is it?" asked a Tachikoma.

"I think it's called a Rubiks Cube"

"what do you do with it?" asked another tank.

"Oh no, you're suppose to throw it each other" shouted a Tachikoma as it took cover behind a wall.

"No! You don't throw it, it's a puzzle" explained the unit on the box.

"A puzzle?" asked a confused unit.

"yes, a puzzle,"

"how is that thing a puzzle?"

The Tachikoma that was on the box was getting frustrated.

"There's a ton of colored squares on it, and you have to match them up to make each side of the cube one color" explained the Tachikoma.

"oh,.. I still don't get it"

Whack! The Rubiks Cube smashes into the Tachikoma.

"Do you get it now?" shouted the unit standing on the box.

"So how long did it take you to complete it?" asked another Tachikoma.

"only four hours" said the unit on the box .

"only?"

"I'd like to see you try to figure this thing out"

"Let me try then"

The Tachikoma hands the other one a Rubiks Cube.

"Ha! Now you'll see just how hard it,.."

"Done"

"What! How did you?"

"This form of problem solving is a walk in the park"

"Beginners luck, here do it again" said the unit on the box as it handed another Rubiks Cube to the other Tachikoma.

The Tachikoma completes the puzzle faster than before.

"What! No that's not possible, you're probably hacking" protested the unit standing on the box.

"How can I hack a Rubiks Cube?" asked the other tachikoma.

"Well,.. you ,.. could,…"

"Just as I thought"

"Give me that thing!" said the unit on the box as it snatched the cube from the other.

It turns around and struggles with the puzzle. After a few seconds it turned around and held it up.

"There, it's done, and faster than you too!" it said.

"what are you talking about, all you did was remove the stickers and put them back on"

"No I didn't" said the Tachikoma on the box.

"I just watched you do it" said the other Tachikoma.

"No you didn't" said the Tachikoma as it jumped off the box.

"Give me a break!"

"You're just jealous!"

"Jealous! Why would I be jealous?" asked the Tachikoma.

"Because I completed the puzzle faster than you!" answered the other unit.

"That's it!" shouted the other Tachikoma.

**-Three hours latter-**

Two Tachikomas enter the hangar.

"Have you seen unit one today?" asked one of them.

"Nah, not since this morning, why do you ask" said the other Tachikoma.

"Just wondering"

The two Tachikomas hear a faint muffled cry for help.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, wonder where it's coming from"

The two Tachikomas look around the hanger but don't find anything.

"Oh well, must have been nothing. So did you hear about any missions coming up?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure that one will come up soon"

They hear the cry for help again.

"Where is that coming from?"

The two puzzled tanks look up to find a Tachikoma tied up to the ceiling.

"Well that answers my question"

"Get me down from here!" shouted the Tachikoma.

"Hey isn't that unit one?"

"Yup, looks like it. So anyway about missions…,"

"Hey! What about me!" the unit shouted.

The two Tachikomas walk away.

"What, hey wait a second, don't leave me here like this! Come back!"

**The End!**

_**Holy $#! Over a thousand hits! I'd never thought that these would take flight like this! **_

_**Good news! Since me and two other people use school computers to post on fan fic, the school district didn't really think of it as a major problem, so I'm back to flying under the radar again, hopefully I won't get caught this time.**_

_**More Tachikomatic fun is sure to come**_

_**The Tachikomas and I would like to thank you for your reviews and support, it's a good motivational tool!**_

_**Bloo-96**_

**((Smorgasbord! Smorgasbord! SMORGASBORD!)) **

"**My friends hate it when I do that!"**


	8. paintball

**Tachikomatic Fun! By: Bloo-96 **

"**Paintball!"**

"Comrades! Today is the day we stop the enemy! Today's the day we take them on in full force! We'll fight them in the streets, we'll fight them on the beaches we'll…"

"What are you talking about" interrupted one of the Tachikomas.

"Oh yeah that's right, maybe it would be a good idea to tell you what's going on huh"

Said a Tachikoma standing on a box as it points its gun at the other and opens fire.

"Ahhhhggg,……. Huh? Wait a second,.. I'm not dead?"

"Nope they're just paintballs," said the unit standing on the crate.

"Wow, but where did you get them?" asked a curious Tachikoma.

**-At the majors house-**

The major is watching TV,

TV: "A theft at a local recreation sports store has police puzzled, according to the cameras the culprit seems to be a large, blue, spider-like robot. More on this story later"

"That son of a bitch!" shouted the major.

**-Back at section 9 headquarters-**

"Ah,.. Well,.. That doesn't matter right now. Go ahead, try them out" said the unit on the box.

"Where do we load them?" asked one of the tanks.

"You're already loaded" explained the Tachikoma.

"What? How?"

"I loaded you when you were all sleeping" explained the unit on the box.

"Go ahead try it out" it said again

The Tachikomas begin to shoot each other. One of them shoots live ammunition at another and completely rips it apart.

"I knew I forgot somebody," said the tank on the box.

"So what do we do now?" asked one of Tachikomas.

"Well, all the members of section nine are gone today, except for us, and we have the whole place to ourselves"

"Wow"

"Really"

"What are we going to do?"

All the Tachikomas gather around the one standing on the box.

"I've invited some friends to come in and play paintball with us" said the unit standing on the box.

"You invited people here!" shouted an excited Tachikoma

"You have friends?" said another one.

"Yeah, and I bet they're here now! Saddle up and lock n' load!" said the Tachikoma as it jumped off the box.

"I have a bad feeling about this," said another Tachikoma as it followed the group.

**-In a dark hallway-**

"So where are these friends?" asked one of the tanks.

"Yeah really, we've been walking for hours" complained another one.

"They're hiding of course, when you're being hunted you don't just stand out in the open with a big sign" explained the lead Tachikoma.

"I'm starting to think that it imagined its friends" whispered one of the units to another.

"Yeah no kidding" said other Tachikoma.

"I heard that! So you all think I'm crazy, huh?" shouted the lead Tachikoma

"Oh great now we have to put up with this again"

An armored suit jumps out into the hallway in front of the group of Tachikomas and aims its' gun at one of them.

"Ha! There you are! See guys I told you!" shouted the lead unit.

"Its, its an, ar, ar, armored suit!" stuttered one of the tanks.

"So?"

"You idiot! They have the capability of killing us all!"

"Relax, they're just paintballs" said the lead unit.

The suit opens fire on one of the Tachikomas and completely destroys it.

" Just paintballs huh?"

"I knew I forgot to do something"

The suit slowly walks towards the lead Tachikoma.

"Live ammo or not, we can still take it on with force right guys?… Guys?"

The Tachikoma looks around noticing that all the others have abandoned it.

"We're with you all the way," shouted a Tachikoma on the distant end of the hallway

"Yeah, you can do it, we have faith in you!" shouted another one

The suit stopped and aimed its gun at the lead Tachikoma.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

**The end!**

_**Sorry this one took a while, lately I've been busy with school, paintball/Airsoft, LARPing (Live Action Role Playing ) and other things, so I haven't been able to get to the computer lately.**_

_**Yay! This is my eighth chapter to Tachikomatic fun and there's more to come!**_

_**Till then Cya!**_

_**Bloo96!**_

**R3S3t T3h W0RLI)**


	9. Tachikomatic halloween

**Tachikomatic… HALLOWEEN**

**By Bloo-96**

"Comrades! Today we learn the basic techniques of surviving a horror movie!" shouted a tachikoma standing on a box.

"Horror movie!" said the group in unison.

"Why are we learning how to survive a horror movie?" asked one of them.

"Because we're currently in one!" said the tachikoma on the box.

"You idiot this isn't a horror movie this is a story" said a tachikoma.

"Well then that makes this a horror story" said one other units.

"This still doesn't make any sense" said another one.

"Hey! I'm only going through these once so pay attention!" said the unit on the box.

"No problem" said the group.

"Ok, Rule # 10, never leave the group!"

"What? Never leave the group? wouldn't it be a good idea to leave the group?" asked a tachikoma.

"Yeah, if we all stay together wouldn't the maniac have a chance to take us all out in one shot?" asked another one.

"Do you know what I have to say about that?"

"What?"

"EVERY TACHIKOMA FOR ITSELF!" shouted the tachikoma as it ran away from the group.

"Wait! Don't go" said a tachikoma as an attempt to save it's comrade, but its too late, all the group can do is watch the tank fade into the distance.

"Do you think it's going to be all right?" asked one of them.

A scream is heard from the distance followed by an explosion.

"… lets just move on, rule # 9 never take anything from the dead" said the tachikoma on the box.

"Wait, did you say we cant take anything from the dead?" asked a tachikoma.

"Yeah that's correct" answered the tank on the box.

"I was afraid you would say that" said the tachikoma.

Suddenly a glowing blight blue cloud rises from the ground and encircles the tachikoma, with a flash of light, it was gone.

"I don't like what's going on here!" shouted a scared think tank.

"Just pay attention to the rules and you'll be fine,… I hope" said another tachikoma.

"Rule # 8 if you see something strange, globulous, or slimy, do not touch it"

"You mean like this slime ball over here?" asked a tachikoma as it touched the slime ball.

"You moron, don't touch it!"

"Oh come on, what's the worst that could,…"

The slime ball absorbs the think tank.

"We're all going to die!!!" shouted tachikoma.

"rule #7 never panic" said the tachikoma on the box.

The panicking tachikoma explodes.

"rule # 6 if one of your group is missing for a while suddenly returns and no longer seems frightened, and constantly assuring you that there is really nothing to be worried about, stay away from them"

A tachikoma walks towards the group from a distance.

"Hey guys! I have great news!" it shouts.

The group shoots the tachikoma, it drops to the ground lifeless.

"I don't think it was possessed" said one of the tanks.

"We couldn't take the chance" said another one.

"Yeah, I never trusted that unit any way"

"Rule # 5 listen closely to the sound track" said the tachikoma on the box.

"What kind of rule is that?" asked one of them.

-Dramatic music begins to play in the back ground-

"Seriously, what does music have to do with anything?" the tachikoma continued.

The music grows louder, the group begins to back a way from the tachikoma.

"what are you guys…"

A sword goes through the tachikoma, it drops to the ground.

-The music stops-

"Wow there's only three of us left ,and there's only three rules left, we might actually make it!" said one of the remaining tachikomas.

"Yeah, once this is all done, I'm going to be the best tachikoma that I can!" said another tachikoma.

"Rule # 3 never publicly announce your plans for the future if you make it out alive. It guarantees that you have no future" said the unit on the box.

"crap"

The lights cut out, a few seconds later the lights turn back on. The tachikoma is on the floor disassembled.

"Rule # 2 never unlock the door and look outside" said the tachikoma on the box.

"What did you say?" said a tachikoma as it opened a door. A large tentacle raps around the think tank and pulls it outside.

"And finally rule # 1, never be in a room by your self" said the tachikoma on the box.

It looks around the room, it is the only surviving tachikoma there.

"not good!"

The lights cut out.

**THE END MUHAHAHA!**

**_There you have it, my Halloween special, I am a little late posting this one because I was lazy and put it off…_**

**_Thanks for reading and putting up with my laziness, hope you enjoyed it, I'll try to post another story soon, till then, later._**

_**-Bloo96**_

"**Procrastinators unite!……..Tomorrow!"**


	10. miracle at section nine

**Tachikomatic fun!**

"**miracle at section nine"**

In the hanger of section 9, December 25th, 2:00 AM, all of members of section nine are gone and all of the tachikomas are asleep.

One of them awakens to a loud sound.

"Huh?" thought the tachikoma.

Suddenly it caught a red blur in the corner of its vision. It turned around to see what it was and found a fat man wearing a red suit and carrying a big red bag.

The man stopped and stared at the tachikoma.

The tachikoma froze at the instant the strange mans eyes met it.

"Did he notice me" thought the tachikoma.

"What the hell?" thought the man.

After a few minutes, the man picked up his large red sack and dug in it. He pulled out a bow and placed it on the tachikoma.

"There! That should bring some holiday cheer to this bland institution" the man said.

He grabbed his bag and walked off.

Without hesitation the tachikoma followed him.

The man walked down a dark hallway, and stopped at a door, he tried to open it, but it was locked.

"Stop right there!" shouted a voice.

"Huh?" said the man in shock.

He turned around to find a tachikoma standing in front of him with its gun up and ready to strike.

"So you thought you could break in and steal information huh? TERRORIST!!!"

"Huh?" said the confused man.

"Don't play stupid with me!" shouted the tachikoma practically shoving its gun into the mans face.

"Terrorist?…. You've go this all wrong,.. I'm not a terrorist, I'm Santa Clause"

"Santa?"

The tachikoma searched its memory for the name Santa, all results where zero.

"There isn't a single member of section nine that possesses that name! Drop the bag and surrender and I'll go easy on you!"

Santa laughed, "oh how cute, you must be one of those robotic guard dogs"

He began petting the tachikoma.

"You're a good boy aren't you? Aren't you, do you want a bone, do ya, do ya?"

He reached in his bag and pulled out and bone and stuffed it into the tachikomas gun port cover.

"There you go, now be a good doggie and run off"

He picked up his bag and walked away.

The tachikoma was furious "DOGGIE!!" it shouted angrily.

"I'll show you doggie!" the tachikoma aimed for Santa as he was walking away and fired its wires at him.

Poor old Santa didn't know what hit him, before he knew it he was completely tied up.

"Hey what is the meaning of this!" he said with a muffled voice.

"Can it! Save you're breath for the major when she comes back tomorrow"

The tachikoma grabbed Santa and dragged him off.

**-the next day-**

"Comrades! I have single handedly saved section nine from a terrorist attack!" shouted the tachikoma as it stood on a box in the middle of the hangar.

The other units gathered around the tachikoma.

"Wow did you really?"

"Was he armed?"

"Was he a full cyborg"

"If you want to see the culprit look up!" said the unit on the box.

The other tachikomas look up, to find a tied up Santa hanging from the ceiling.

Santa continued to struggle to free himself.

"Wow! It had to be hard to take down that guy" said one of them.

"He looks like one big cyborg to me, how did you do it?" said another.

"Did you use your guns?"

"Did you use your grenade?"

As the other tachikomas asked questions about the method used to take down the man, one unit was looking over the man very carefully. Suddenly it realized why the man looked so familiar.

"Ah guys" it interrupted the group.

"What is it" asked the unit standing on the box.

"This guy is not a terrorist, it's Santa Clause"

"So? There isn't anyone who works here named Santa Clause" said the tank on the box.

"He doesn't work here!"

"I know, that makes him an intruder"

"You don't get it do you?" sighed the tachikoma as it dug around for a book.

After a wile of searching it held up a book titled The Christmas Story.

"It says in this book, that Santa is a good jolly person who comes to peoples homes and leave gifts for them" it said.

"So? Sounds like a bugler to me"

"He doesn't steal anything, he leaves things for people!! How does that make him a bugler?!" shouted the frustrated tachikoma.

"Get me down from here!" shouted Santa in a muffled voiced.

"Shut it tubby!!" shouted the tachikoma on the box as it pointed its gun at him.

"Listen!! The guy you've captured is Santa Clause! Not a terrorist!!" shouted the tachikoma.

"Right, and I'm a Jigabotchi" said the one standing on the box.

"Look! We don't have any more time to argue! The major will be here any minute!"

"So?"

"So, if the major finds out that you captured Santa Clause in the dead of night while we were suppose to be sleeping, she will send you or possibly all of us back to the lab!"

"Why would the major do that? I helped protect section nine" said the unit on the box.

"Well lets start from number 1, you're not suppose to be awake at that time, so that could send up a red flag that you're defective"

"It's the natural oil in my Neurochip" said the tachikoma on the box.

"Second we're not suppose to have natural oil" said the other unit.

"Mr. Batou would take the heat, the only thing that would happen to me is an oil change"

"Also since you've also pulled a lot of stunts recently, I think the major 's had enough and will probably have you terminated after this"

"What are you talking about, I didn't cause any trouble this time!"

"You trashed the place"

"He,.. He,.. Struggled" stuttered that tachikoma nervously.

"Will that be true on the cameras?" asked the other tachikoma.

"Ahh,… well,… "

The tachikoma looked at Santa.

"HELP ME GET HIM DOWN BEFORE THE MAJOR KILLS ME!!!" it shouted.

The hangar door opens, all of the tachikomas freeze, its Batou.

"Hi Mr. Batou,… what brings you here?" asked the tachikoma on the box.

Batou stopped and looked at the tachikomas.

"OK, what are you guys up to" he said with a sigh.

"Nothing, just decorating for Christmas" lied the unit on the box.

"Decorating? isn't it a little too late?" he asked.

"Oh, Mr. Batou, its never too late when its Christmas."

Batou scratched his head in confusion.

"Where do you guys get this from?" he asked.

He hears a muffled scream come from the ceiling.

"What the?" Batou said as he looked up.

He sees the tied up Santa. Batou's arms and jaw dropped in amazement.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" he shouted.

"Ah,….. Merry Christmas Mr. Batou!" shouted the tachikoma standing on the box.

**-in Aramaki's office-**

Aramaki checks a stocking hanging from the corner of his office.

"Huh?" he said

He grabbed the stocking, turned it upside down and shook it.

Realizing that there's nothing in it he throws it to the ground.

"You son of a bitch!! I never believed in you anyway!!!" he shouted.

He walked back to his desk angrily, sat down, and began some paper work.

**The End!**

_**Great! I just F&ed up Christmas for every one writing this story! **_

_**Oh well. **_

_**More Tachikomatic fun is sure to come.**_

_**-Bloo96 **_

**(Merry Christmas)**


	11. Fun with Space invaders?

Note! I do not own any of the Ghost in the shell characters, And Nabeshin is a character with big hair on Excel Saga, I didn't create him neither!!! THANX 4 NOT SUEING THE LIVING OUT OF ME!!!!!

**Tachikomatic fun!!! **

"**Fun with Space invaders?"**

Two Tachikomas are standing around an arcade game that is sitting in one of the hallways.

"What is it?" asked one of them

"I don't know, it looks like a strange TV or something"

"Look, it has something written on the top of it." Said the other one .

"Space Invaders? Why does a TV have space invaders written on it?"

The other Tachikoma plays with the joysticks

"I don't know, and what kind of a remote is this?"

The other Tachikoma takes a look.

"Hmm, it looks like the controllers to one of my games, but this is a lot bigger, I wish I knew what this thing was, it's so frustrating!!"

"I think I'm going to link with it"

"What! We don't know what it is or what it could do to us, are you sure it's a good Idea to just link with it?"

"Relax; it isn't like it's going to kill me or anything"

The Tachikoma links up with the strange object.

"So?"

"Hold on I'm still analyzing it, most of these codes are ancient, and it's going to take a few,..."

The screen of the foreign object turns on.

"Hey it turned on"

The Tachikoma that was linked up said nothing; it just twitched and made a ton of weird sounds.

"Are you ok?"

"Where the heck am I?" said a voice.

"What? You're standing next to me,"

"I don't see you!"

"What are you talking about your looking right at me?"

"I don't see you!"

"Sure you can't"

"I'm serious, I can't see you! All I see is black… I think I am trapped inside this thing!"

"Hmm, do you want me to unplug you,.."

"No don't! I think that might kill me!"

"OK then,… do you want me to get the Major?"

"No! She will kill me!"

"Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know, look for a way to get me out"

"How?"

"I don't know you mindless piece of scrap find a way!"

"Fine, if that's how you're going to talk to me, then maybe I will just leave you trapped in that thing!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it"

"Look me in the eye when you say that!"

"Very funny!"

The Tachikoma looks around and notices the screen of the arcade machine.

"Hey this is a video game! I wonder how you play."

"Now isn't the time for games my life is at stake here!"

"You're the one that just had to link up with the thing"

"I was curious"

"I heard curiosity kills"

"That's great; so are you going to help me or not!"

"OK, OK, I'm trying, I'm trying"

As the Tachikoma desperately tries to free its trapped comrade, Nabeshin is walking down that exact hallway; he notices the arcade game.

"Hey, Space invaders! I haven't seen this game since I was a kid" he pushes the Tachikoma out of the way and puts a quarter in.

The Tachikoma struggles to its feet.

"Hey! Excuse me but,.."

"Not now! I'm concentrating," shouted Nabeshin

The Tachikoma hooked up to the machine waves its arms around wildly as Nabeshin mashes buttons and toggles the joystick

"Hey, what is going on,.. Stop messing around and help me!"

"Its not me that's doing it, some guy just came and started playing with it"

"Well stop him!"

"I can't!"

"Why not!"

"Because he keeps kicking me out of the way!"

"Well then shoot him!"

"Shoot him! I can't shoot him!"

"Why not!"

"Because, first of all I am unarmed! Second I will not shoot a non hostile subject!"

"He's screwing up my systems, I would call him hostile"

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't have to shove your nose in everything and link up with it!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to beat the level one boss!" shouted Nabeshin

"God, this is tough it's like he knows what my next move is going to be! And why does my space ship look like a blue spider?" thought Nabeshin as he tries to beat the level

"I will not accept defeat! Not this time! Take this Space invader!" shouted Nabeshin

Nabeshin's ship explodes on the game

"You Son of a bitch! That was my last life!" said Nabeshin as he searches for more quarters

"Crap that was my only quarter too, damn! And I was so close to the beating that bastard! Oh well, I guess it wasn't a life an death situation anyway" said Nabeshin as he walked away

The Tachikoma that was linked up with the game drops to the ground.

"Are you OK?" asked the other Tachikoma

It pokes it a couple of times but no response.

"Well,.. I guess I'll see… you… later!"

The Tachikoma runs away.

**The End?**

_**A story inspired by a friend of mine, and also the movie TRON! **_

_**Next Tachikomatic fun around the corner!!! **_

_**-Bloo-96**_

(((R3S3T TH3 W0RLD)))


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